Poops Ahoy

My attractive wife had the day off from work and she ventured to Target (aka, The Mothership) and bought Jack some Cars-themed big boy underwear. Jack loved them and after dinner wanted to try them on. We told him they were for wearing after he knew how to go to the potty. Jack announced he was ready to go potty now! He raced upstairs and tried to sit on the toilet before I could get the training seat on it. I told him he would have to first remove his diaper. He decided he'd had enough and ran back into his bedroom were I helped him out of the diaper and into his new underwear. He loved it and ran downstairs to show my attractive wife.

We kept trying to tell him the underwear was for when he knew how to use the potty. I finally got them off him and ushered him back into the bathroom where I drew up his bath. Early into it, he got that far-away look he normally sprouts when he's getting ready to be poopies. Uh oh.

"Buddy do you need to be poopies?" I asked. "No, I was just gassies," he answers. "Are you sure you don't need to be poopies?" He then answered in a whisper, "Be quiet," which he's said several times when I've called him on going poopies in his diaper. My attractive wife said from the hallway he had already been poopies this morning. Jack wiggled around in the soapy water and then seemed okay.

That's when I see it submerged in the water. "Buddy, you went poopies in the bath!" Jack continues to deny it. The commotion draws my attractive wife's attention from the other room. When she sees it, she screams, "Oh, he was poopies!" This causes a peristaltic chain-reaction in Jack who realizes what he's done and he starts crying. I carry him out and put a towel around him while my wife rushes downstairs. She returns with a giant stainless steel ladle and hands it to me.

I'll spare you the clean-up details but let's say I was thankful for the high amounts of fiber in Jack's diet and the power of bleach. We gotta get this kid potty trained.